POST YOUR JOKES HERE

[Exploited]

haha the last one is a good one

[Jithin]

INTERESTING NOTICE


On a Toilet door
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

 

 

 


 

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

 

 

 


In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

 

 


In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

 

 


Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

 

 


Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

 

 


Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

 

 


Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

 

 


Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

 

 


Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

 

 
And this one is my favorite


On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

              

[NiKSY]

ding dong

[Luthychan]

xD very good ones !!!

[motomaniacs]

xexexe

[error398]

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a  show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little  Tommy.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...

Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was  pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful !"

[error398]

Always Allow The Boss To Speak First

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
 
The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
 
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Langkawi, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff and he was gone.
 
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Singapore because there is no jabatan agama to catch me with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff and he was also gone.
 
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back right now ." Pfuffff ……….:p
 
Lesson :- ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST

[Exploited]

f**** beautiful ))

[keaglez]

LOL nice one Rauna...

[Exploited]

The mother is knocking on the door of the room of her son. HE IS IN PANIC! He throws the cigar our of the window and opens it wide, then he sprays a lot of air fresher and opens the door. The mother is angry:
- What are you doing here you lazybones?
- Mother, please mother... I swear - I do not smoke!
The mother, really bored from his lies, replies:
- Listen wretch - I do not mind if you smoke, drink, take drugs or go with whores. The only thing I want you to do is to get a real wife dammit - you are 45 years old for God sake!!!

[Jithin]

Hehe.. Seems it is Phil's actual story..lol

[NiKSY]

I think Phil doesnt have 45 years lol

[Exploited]

yeah definetly

[prasasti]

Why men should concentrate


WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: Definitely not!
WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND: Of course I do.

WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?
WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new
WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?
HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.
WIFE: - - silence - -

HUSBAND: F**k.....

[Exploited]

LOL