POST YOUR JOKES HERE

[Exploited]

Old monkey teaches his son what is a conditioned reflex:
- Look son if will press that red button then the idiot in the white dress will bring me a free bannana

[Exploited]

A drunk man is going to sleep and he tells his wife:
- Listen.... please wake me up as soon as I feel like a drink...
- How I can know when you want a drink you idiot?
- Listen... just wake me up...

[Exploited]

- How many times I must told you - never drink more than 3 beers and you must come home at 10!
- Oooops... looks like I switched the numbers

[Exploited]

- My husband is drinking until he starts seeing green aliens
- Oh, my husband continues to drink with them

[huatz84]

I like that Bush and Rice conversations.It's making me laugh all the time...Nice jokes,Jithinsk..

[Jithin]

Once a smart  Sales  Executive and  H is Manager were traveling towards Ooty (A beautiful place in India) in a train.

Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

 

 


Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.

Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is?

He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine;

she immediately slapped that guy."

 

 


 Manager thought that,

"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!

But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me,

but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever   Sales  Executive  thought?

 

 


" This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because,

at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my Boss ."   

[keaglez]

LOL
@JithinSK, i always like your jokes...

[Jithin]

A Chinese walks into a bar in
America late one night

and

he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies,

he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.




Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,

"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta
here."




The astonished Chinese man replied,

"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour,

it was the Japanese".




"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied
Spielberg.




In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,

"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."




The Chinese replies,

"Iceberg, Spielberg,
Carlsberg, you're all the
same."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A mother took her little boy to
church.


While in church the little boy said,
"Mommy, I have to pee."


The mother said to the little boy,
"It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church.


So, from now on whenever you have to
'pee' just tell me that you have to
'whisper'."



The following
Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the
service said to his father,


"Daddy, I have to
whisper."


The father looked at him and
said, "Okay, just whisper in my
ear."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present For Husband



A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training
session.


Her husband drives her
to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.


The wife answers :
"Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
you?"


The husband laughs and
says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he
picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the
trip?"


"Very good, thank
you." "And, what happened to my present?"


"Which present?"
She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian
girl!!"


"Oh, that" she
said

"Well, I did what I
could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl
!!!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

[error398]

a Girl

my mum advice me,
if my boyfriend wanna touch my boobs.. just said  DONT
if my boyfriend wanna touch my @#$%.. Just said STOP

but if my boyfriend touching my boobs and @#$%.. so i must said DONT STOP

[Jithin]

WHO IS THE GREATEST?     

 

 

Cow, Ant & Donkey

Cow , ant & a Donkey are debating on who is the greatest among three of THEM

So here it goes........ ......... .

Cow : I give 50 litters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest.

Ant : I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the Greatest.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

HELLO-WHY ARE YOU SCROLLING DOWN??

ITS YOUR TURN NOW - PLEASE SPEAK UP

[3sixthy]

LOL......damn donkey

[Exploited]

hahaha

[error398]

i got served Again..
HAHAHA

[GeozTsai]

Here's one I heard from my friend:


There were three salesmen and three developers on a train.
The salesmen bought three tickets,
but the developers only bought one ticket,

salesmen:Why did you only buy one ticket? You have to buy three!!
developers:We will see...

So when checking tickets,all three developers hid in one bathroom.

ticket checker:Please hand out your tickets...

Out of the developers bathroom came a long hand holding a ticket...







On the way back,
the salesmen decided to do the same - what the developers had done before;
so they only bought one ticket. :
But this time, the developers hade no tickets...

salesmen:See how you pass this time...
developers:Just wait...

When checking tickets,six people headed in to two bathrooms,




























And the developers nocked on the salesmen's door and said: Please hand out your tickets......


 :

[GeozTsai]

Here's another one:



A burgular said to a preist:



Burgular:Help me god...

Preist:What brings you here my boy?

Burgular:I stole a cow from someone...what should I do?

Preist:See if the person finds out, give the cow back to him.

Burgular:The person does not know,is it ok if I give the cow to you?

Preist:No no no! God will punish me if I take the cow,go ask him if he wants it back.

Burgular:But he said he dosesn't need it back,then what should I do?

Preist:Keep the cow then,god will bless you...



The burgular left the church happily and went home.

And that night,the preist found out that the church was missing a cow...... :