POST YOUR JOKES HERE

[Jithin]

Well,the thread title says it all.. Lets have some fun here.
Lemme start it first. Dunno whether you heard it or not..

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing A tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this
would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree
With you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

[error398]

Once day in the morning,wife ask for her hubby

Wife : b, look our neighbour..

Hubby : why?

Wife : every morning before her hubby go to work, he kiss his wife, and after
back from work, he will give her a roses. they are so lovely.. why dont u do like that?

Hubby : Are u crazy.. she is not my wife.

Translated from Malay Version(sorry if no jokes)

-----------------------------------------------------

An Engineer

u should be an engineer if :

- u are confuse while u want to make a choice between buy a roses to ur sweetheart or upgrade RAM for ur computer

- u think waste a time to have a vacation with a cruise(ship), u can go to personal visit at Engine Lab.

- u in the college, u think that semester break is 'metal fatique failure'

- salesman cannot answer ur question...

- ur laptop or Desktop pc is too expensive between ur car

- u have a lot of time with ur calculator between ur friends

- u try to repair a radio that the price just for $5.00

do you understand? u are totally not an Engineer

[Jithin]

I didn't understand the second one.. But I'm going to be an engineer next year

[Exploited]

- Mr. Policeman help! That guy over there stole my watch!
- No worries buddy... it's half past ten!


- Hey doctor, I am suffering from sex weakness
- Oh really madam? What is it exactly?
- I cannot reject any sex offer!


- Sir we have a good and a bad news. Which one you preffer first?
- Tell me the bad please
- Your wife is f***ing with the whole company staff!
- LOL dammit! What the hell could be good news in such situation?
- Well everybody enjoys it!

[Jithin]

Phil,I just made some corrections Hope you wont mind it
Another one : I think I got this from MoMo

This is a conversation between Condoleezza Rice and President.
Just imagine Bush's face when you read this. I think it's hilarious.
BTW "Hu" is pronounced as "who".

This was written after it was announced that Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

HU'S ON FIRST
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Thank You...Mr. President.

[motomaniacs]

Lol.. jithinks...
Mr george should go to doctor... maybe he got hearing problem.... wakakakakaka

[keaglez]

LOL, thats funny one... I like it...

[Jithin]

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week."

The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay,now GET OUT!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"


With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, " Pizza delivery guy"


Boy & Girl in restaurant


Boy :- I Love u


Girl :- I don't Love u


Boy :- Think again ?


Girl :- I told u. No no & no


Boy :- Waiter, bring separate bills.

 

 



Girl :- ok ok....... I Love u too......... . !

[konspirasi]

LOL i cant stop smiling on myself.

[Exploited]

The George one is a killer!

[error398]

Hahahahaha

[Jithin]

[Jithin]

 

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st: Forget mine . Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends ".

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

" With Idiot For Ever !!!"

**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

**********

Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

**********

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs

No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints .

**********

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!

**********

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.

Daughter ( Excitingly ): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints...

[Exploited]

lol good couples dude

Judge: You must try to be a different kind of man
Thief: I tried man... but you put me in jail for document fraud

[Exploited]

- Doctor, please help! It's hard for me to breed!
- Why you are self-punishing yourself like that madam? Just stop breeding!