POST YOUR JOKES HERE

[NiKSY]

I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!”

Sorry mate but I dont consider this funny

[Jithin]

Just take it as a joke..

[Jithin]

A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said, “Johnnie”.
“Right”, he said, “what about that blond one over there?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Are all your boys called Johnnie?” he asked, “Isn`t that terribly complicated?”
“Not at all”, she said, “it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Johnnie, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Johnnie, it`s time for bed!, they all go to bed.”
“I see. But what if you want only one of them?”
“No problem.” she answers. Then I call them by their surnames.”

[MarkoP]

lol...

[Exploited]

smart move I know twins with equal names, which is even more terrible

[Jithin]

A  woman takes a lover home during the day while her  husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees  them and hides in the  bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the  boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy  , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"

The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that sh*t again , you're in my closet now. 

[Exploited]

hehehe

[Exploited]

English lord is adjusting his watch himself. The footman is shocked:
- Sir, what are you doing?
- Do not worry James, everything is ok. I got some healt issues recently and the doctor said that I must take some physical exams...

[Jithin]

PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk –"PRICELESS"

[Exploited]

LOL that was a good one

Woman is shouting at her husband:
- I am sick of you! I can't take it anymore - you are drinking too much! Now you are even naming different brands of vodka while you are sleeping!
- What... I can't visit the pub even in my dreams huh?

[Jithin]

lol


A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into

Wal-Mart

with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.



The Wal-Mart

Greeter said pleasantly 'Good

morning,

and welcome to Wal-Mart.

 

Nice children you have there.

 

Are they twins?'

 



The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they

ain't twins.' 'The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell

would you think they're twins?

 

Are you blind, or just stupid?'



I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter.

 

'I just couldn't believe someone had sex with you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

[Exploited]

hehehehe old and classic

[GeozTsai]

...

[Joka X]

Naughty Answers!


Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.   
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says : 

"If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
************ ********* ********* ********* *****

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"
Santa wrote back, 

" SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
************ ********* ********* ********* *

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

************ ********* ********* *****

Husband asks:   

"Do u know that the meaning of WIFE is:
Without
Information
Fighting
Every-time
Wife replies:

"No,......
It means:
With
Idiot
For
Ever !!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* **

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
************ ********* ********* ********* *   

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack
& our driver ran away
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says:  "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my
son, THAT is confidential.

[darwin_rodgers]

uuuuuu.,,, look at it :D:




Capische??