POST YOUR JOKES HERE

[GeozTsai]

Ha...

[Jithin]

So how many times have you been fired,Phil??

[error398]

hahaha.. the dumbers caller LOL

[Joka X]

a jokes my brother mail to me.....

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
 

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! 

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? 

 

Caller: I'm Sam Wan ( someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?
 

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan ( no one ) was
involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
 

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then
the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't
have time for this!
 

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

[Jithin]

Lol.. Good one..

[error398]

nice xtremetcx

[Exploited]

++

[prasasti]

The Perfect Worker

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle.  Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues.  Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time.  Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks.  Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field.  I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with.  Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today.  Kindly re-read only the odd numbered
lines.

[Exploited]

hahaha I was thinking while reading "why these numbers"


"The average national price of a gallon of gas hit an all-time record high of $3.15 this week. Meaning that wherever you're going this summer, it might be cheaper to mail your car." --Amy Poehler

"There was a sign at the station near by my house that said, 'We take Visa, Mastercard, Discover Card, and American Express.' After I filled up they took my Visa, Master Card, my Discover Card, and my American Express." --Jay Leno

"I was watching that movie Mad Max, you know that movie where gas is so precious that people are killing each other for a few gallons. It was set in the future -- I believe it was August." --Jay Leno

"As you know, the government takes 40 percent of what you make. The other 60 percent, of course, taken by the gas stations." -- Jay Leno

"On the second anniversary of the invasion of Iraq gas prices in L.A. reached three dollars a gallon in some places. Didn't we win that war? I mean, I know there were no weapons of mass destruction but apparently there's no gas there either." --Jay Leno

[Exploited]

Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you
would offend the person standing near you?...NOT.   Well, if you are, then
here are some alternatives to some popular phrases.

I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one.

She is not:                     An airhead
She is:                         Reality Impaired

She is not:                     A Bleached Blond
She is:                         Peroxide Dependant

She is not:                     A babe or chick
She is:                         A Breasted American

She does not have:              Major league hooters
She is:                         Pectorally Superior

She does not have:              A Great Tan
She is:                         Pigmentally Enhanced

You do not want to:             Score or pick her up
You want to:                    Attempt a Horizontal Encounter

She is not:                     A perfect 10
She is:                         Numerically Superior

She does not have:              A great butt
She has:                        A Superior Posterior

If she does not want to get:    Married or hitched
She does not want:              Domestic Incarceration

She is not:                     Half naked
She is:                         Wardrobe Impaired

She does not have:              A perfect body
She is:                         Anatomically Gifted

She is not:                     Drunk or tipsy
She is:                         Chemically Inconvenienced

She is not:                     Small or short
She is:                         Vertically Challenged

[Jithin]

Kinda old one.. I dunno how many of you have heard this..

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's out....."

Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......"

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared.....

That makes me Newton per meter squared......

since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......! 

[Joka X]

LOL.....nice trick.......

[Exploited]

LOL

[prasasti]

Broken PC

Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line?
HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?
HelpLine: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.
HelpLine: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?
Caller: It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it.

[Exploited]

I don't get it? What is "4X"?