South Africa FAQ

Many people heard about South Afrika, but few knows about it. Here is a little FAQ with the most common questions:

- Is it windy over there? I never saw rain there... How do the plants grow in South Afrika?
- We import plants already grown... Then we watch how they die!

- Can I see elephants on the street?
- Depends how much you drink!

- If I want to walk from Durban to Capetown - can I follow the train tracks?
- Sure do, it's only 2000km. Please bring more water handy...

- Is it safe to run around the bushes in South Afrika? (question from Sweden)
- Oh! So it's true what the people are saying for the Swedish guys!

- I want more information about the coala bear chasings in South Afrika?
- Au-stra-lia is the big country in the middle of the Pacific ocean! Afrika is the big triangle continent in south of Europe and we do not have... Oooooh just forget about it! Sure - the coala bear chasings are every Tuesday evening in Hilbrow. Please join the party naked!

- Where is the North in South Afrika?
- Now stay with your face to the south and turn around on 180 degrees. When you are in that position give us a call for futher instructions.

- Can you send me the program of the Vien boy choral society?
- AUSTRIA is the fancy country in the middle of Europe which... Yeah forget about it! The choral society of Vien boys is singing in Hilbrow every Tuesday evening, right after the coala chasings. Please come naked!

- Do you have any parfumes in South Afrika?
- No, we smell natural!

- Can you point me to places in South Afrika where the females are less than the males?
- Sure - go to the gay clubs!

- Do you celebrate Christmas?
- We do, but only during Christmas!

- Are there bee-killers in South Afrika?
- No, but for our precious tourists like you we can import...

- Do you have supermarkets in Johannesburg and do you have milk?
- No! We are peaceful civilization of decent hunters and diamond searchers. No milk!

- Can I speak with you in English? (common question from United States)
- Yes, but first you have to learn it sir